As a trans dude with the SAME issue, lemme tell you that you are being ridiculously supportive and he's a lucky guy!
My gf is a cis woman, and while we haven't been intimate yet (LDR) I doubt it will happen until I've had top surgery, because my dysphoria is all top related. (I'm actually kinda content with my junk for the most part)
However. You are NOT a bad gf if he's not ready for you to get hands on with his junk. It's a slow process.
Here's some things to do to help boost his confidence:
Ask about strapons! There are strapons that are actually strapless- Feeldoes- that can give the sensation of not wearing a strapon, and provide pleasure for the wearer as well as the recipient. Also, look into pack-and-plays- packers/STP's that can be used for sex. Ask if him he's comfortable with those. Also, if he's had meta or is planning on it, maybe look into the HotRod from transthetics? http://transthetics.com/the-hot-rod-coming-soon/ it's not out YET but their products are GREAT (expensive, but worth it. I have an EZP from them and it's WONDERFUL for dealing with dysphoria and bathroom issues)
Praise the features he's proud of, but also tell him you appreciate the changes he's undergone. Tell him you love his body, that it turns you on. Tell him it's not just what he DOES for you, but his appearance you find attractive.
That being said- I personally get turned on by touch, by pleasuring others, but I'm still not comfortable with being the recipient. HOWEVER, I still jerk off- HRT for trans men makes the libido go through the roof.
Maybe ask if he'd be willing to jerk off with you in the room? Getting used to having you nearby while he does might help- maybe start off with complimenting how he smells after you both do your thing, how hot he looks when he's flushed after orgasm. Slowly ease him into understanding that you find him attractive, and helping him associate your appreciation with intimacy. The next step might be being in bed while he jerks off- but you touch his chest, kiss his neck, run hands through his hair, etc. Keep your touches above the waist, and see how it goes from there!
Most of all, be patient, and if he honestly isn't okay with it just yet, know that it's NOT your fault, and he likely is very grateful you're being sensitive and attentive to his needs and feelings. His frustrations are at himself, and the best thing to do is keep reassuring him that you find him a wonderful and attractive partner.
Re: Uh warning nsfw ish
As a trans dude with the SAME issue, lemme tell you that you are being ridiculously supportive and he's a lucky guy!
My gf is a cis woman, and while we haven't been intimate yet (LDR) I doubt it will happen until I've had top surgery, because my dysphoria is all top related. (I'm actually kinda content with my junk for the most part)
However. You are NOT a bad gf if he's not ready for you to get hands on with his junk. It's a slow process.
Here's some things to do to help boost his confidence:
Ask about strapons! There are strapons that are actually strapless- Feeldoes- that can give the sensation of not wearing a strapon, and provide pleasure for the wearer as well as the recipient. Also, look into pack-and-plays- packers/STP's that can be used for sex. Ask if him he's comfortable with those. Also, if he's had meta or is planning on it, maybe look into the HotRod from transthetics? http://transthetics.com/the-hot-rod-coming-soon/ it's not out YET but their products are GREAT (expensive, but worth it. I have an EZP from them and it's WONDERFUL for dealing with dysphoria and bathroom issues)
Praise the features he's proud of, but also tell him you appreciate the changes he's undergone. Tell him you love his body, that it turns you on. Tell him it's not just what he DOES for you, but his appearance you find attractive.
That being said- I personally get turned on by touch, by pleasuring others, but I'm still not comfortable with being the recipient. HOWEVER, I still jerk off- HRT for trans men makes the libido go through the roof.
Maybe ask if he'd be willing to jerk off with you in the room? Getting used to having you nearby while he does might help- maybe start off with complimenting how he smells after you both do your thing, how hot he looks when he's flushed after orgasm. Slowly ease him into understanding that you find him attractive, and helping him associate your appreciation with intimacy. The next step might be being in bed while he jerks off- but you touch his chest, kiss his neck, run hands through his hair, etc. Keep your touches above the waist, and see how it goes from there!
Most of all, be patient, and if he honestly isn't okay with it just yet, know that it's NOT your fault, and he likely is very grateful you're being sensitive and attentive to his needs and feelings. His frustrations are at himself, and the best thing to do is keep reassuring him that you find him a wonderful and attractive partner.