anonrising | #46 - Bet your heart skipped a beat

I sometimes forget to respond on whatsapp even if I mean to, since I get so many messages...
but if she knew about you crushing on her she was probably blowing you off deliberately (I for one am very conscious and careful about communicating with people who I have romantic ties to)

some people struggle with turning others down, so I wouldn't count on her not caring, but it's not like I know her, so who knows...

it's good you got to say your piece, and hopefully it will bring you closure

blowing somebody off is a dick move though. if you don't want to be involved with someone then you have to fucking tell them, just ignoring them is about the worst thing you can do. literally the only exception is if they're talking to you incessantly and they're a toxic person. it really fucks with someone's emotions, knowing that someone they care about is deliberately ignoring them.

"literally the only exception is if they're talking to you incessantly and they're a toxic person."

i still feel like absolute shit for cutting a toxic person out of my life this way though. it was awful.

"telling them" isn't always an option... I've been called pretty much every name under the sun and gotten harassing text messages for turning down a guy or two

I once had a guy friend (now an ex friend), who I had been friends with for close to almost a year and who knew I was into girls, suddenly blow up and try and hit me with a glass bottle because I wouldn't go out with him

my point is, you can never anticipate how someone will react if they get rejected, and people get scared and anxious because of past experiences even if it's completely irrational
personally I'd like to keep it 100% honest even with my history, but that's not a realistic course of action for everyone

I'm sorry it didn't work out between you two, and if she did indeed ignore you out of maliciousness, that's on her and she has to live with that

ayrt isn't me btw, i thought it sounded like you thought they were /shrug

oh, sorry! the writing style seemed similar so I just assumed

"if you don't want to be involved with someone then you have to fucking tell them, just ignoring them is about the worst thing you can do."

Nope. And nope.

NAYRT

I 100% understand the thought behind this, I do, but on the other side of things we live in a world where people are LITERALLY assaulted or murdered or otherwise physically/verbally abused because they turned someone down for a date or told someone they weren't interested in them romantically on a REGULAR basis. It's in the news frequently, I honestly don't think I have a single friend who doesn't have at least one story about someone going batshit on them because they were honest and told the person they weren't interested.

Like, IDK if that is the situation with OP's crush but I absolutely understand why someone would feel like ghosting a person who displayed romantic interest in them that they didn't return back was the best option. It's not always the 'obviously toxic' people who react violently to being turned down. People who seem totally solid and calm flip out when they're rejected, too. Ignoring them is usually not about being a dick, it's about being afraid.

nah nah nah

i mean it really fucks with someones emotions when someone they think is a good friend suddenly expresses that they want more. because you KNOW that when you tell them you don't reciprocate it's going to spell the end for that friendship and you also start to wonder if they've just been nice to you they want to get with you. the entire concept of the friendzone is that a girls friendship is somehow less.

it's easier to just not engage tbh

#46 - Bet your heart skipped a beat

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