Goooddd thank you so much for replying because this was excellent advice and it feels really nice to have a trans person weigh in. I know every person is different but its at least nice to get some kind of perspective from that angle
we do use strapons! which is amazing in itself because I never liked insertion until he warmed me up to it and now its bang bang city lmaoooo. I have not heard of feeldoes tho! that actually sounds super nice considering he's had top surgery and i think most of dysphoria is from his genitals.
I'm actually not sure if he's had meta (or what that is honestly, I get nervous about triggering his dysphoria very often so I don't ask about a lot of things from him although I should down the road some day in case we do get that serious and I would need to know) but I'm going to look it up later today.
I'm so so so grateful you commented because this seems really useful. I haven't been so vocal about praising his features and what not in bed and i don't know why I haven't been but in the perspective you put it, I think it makes total sense and I'm definitely going to try now. I do praise him often in bed but its more for his physical prowess and uh... dexterity LOL but i will start incorporating more attraction mentions because he is an A+ cutie and I should let him know more
Him jerking off with me in the room would be a dream but I feel like we're still kinda far from that but i like your suggestion with above-the-belt so I think I'll do more of that. Its a little harder because he has next to zero sensation in his chest thanks to surgery but I'm going to try some things.
He's very very much a giver in bed and half his sexual gratification comes from me just enjoying myself but the other half is important too so I just get worried. I'm actually on my sharkweek (LOL) right now so I might work on paying attention to him and just lavishing on him. (its hard because he knows all my spots so well so anytime i try to pay attention to him he basically has me down and out by the count of 3)
again, thank you so much for commenting this was sooooo helpful and i truly appreciate it, i'm going to look into other things that we can do but this was an amazing start. I really hope you get your top surgery soon too, friend!
Meta is Metoidioplasty- it's basically a surgery option that's less invasive and cheaper than a phalloplasty. http://www.metoidioplasty.net/ has a lot of good info- as well as resources, if your bf needs them!
Don't be TOO afraid to ask- you can't know what his boundaries are if you avoid the subject all together- then he might think you're just as wary of his junk as he is!
A good way to ask if he's had, or is considering any bottom surgery might be to show him the Rod, or the transthetic pieces- that way you can gently level the question if the Rod or the EZP might work better for him, without directly asking "So what's the situation with your junk."
If he hasn't had surgery, or mentions he's considering it, offer your support. Tell him you've got his back, no matter what he chooses, and that you'll help him with aftercare, should he decide to do so. My gf will be visiting to help take care of me after my top surgery, and knowing that I'll have my loving gf tend to me after such a huge milestone makes me feel like she's really in this for the long haul. (I'm actually going to propose to her next year :X) I'm pretty sure he'd appreciate the gesture as well!
As far as above the waist touching, it doesn't have to just be the sensation! I fully admit when my gf told me she will love running her fingers over my future scars and telling me how beautiful they'll be, it made me giddy. Also, you could always do some ear/neck biting ;D
Also, if he just doesn't want anything sexual, maybe try some body massages, while telling him how much you like his features. Sensuality plus praise is a good way to instil trust and good associations with your touch!
You're SO very welcome, and I hope things work out!
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anonrising2016-07-10 03:31 pm
Re: Uh warning nsfw ish
(Anonymous) 2016-07-28 05:18 pm (UTC)(link)Goooddd thank you so much for replying because this was excellent advice and it feels really nice to have a trans person weigh in. I know every person is different but its at least nice to get some kind of perspective from that angle
we do use strapons! which is amazing in itself because I never liked insertion until he warmed me up to it and now its bang bang city lmaoooo. I have not heard of feeldoes tho! that actually sounds super nice considering he's had top surgery and i think most of dysphoria is from his genitals.
I'm actually not sure if he's had meta (or what that is honestly, I get nervous about triggering his dysphoria very often so I don't ask about a lot of things from him although I should down the road some day in case we do get that serious and I would need to know) but I'm going to look it up later today.
I'm so so so grateful you commented because this seems really useful. I haven't been so vocal about praising his features and what not in bed and i don't know why I haven't been but in the perspective you put it, I think it makes total sense and I'm definitely going to try now. I do praise him often in bed but its more for his physical prowess and uh... dexterity LOL but i will start incorporating more attraction mentions because he is an A+ cutie and I should let him know more
Him jerking off with me in the room would be a dream but I feel like we're still kinda far from that but i like your suggestion with above-the-belt so I think I'll do more of that. Its a little harder because he has next to zero sensation in his chest thanks to surgery but I'm going to try some things.
He's very very much a giver in bed and half his sexual gratification comes from me just enjoying myself but the other half is important too so I just get worried. I'm actually on my sharkweek (LOL) right now so I might work on paying attention to him and just lavishing on him. (its hard because he knows all my spots so well so anytime i try to pay attention to him he basically has me down and out by the count of 3)
again, thank you so much for commenting this was sooooo helpful and i truly appreciate it, i'm going to look into other things that we can do but this was an amazing start. I really hope you get your top surgery soon too, friend!
ayrt
(Anonymous) 2016-07-28 06:40 pm (UTC)(link)Meta is Metoidioplasty- it's basically a surgery option that's less invasive and cheaper than a phalloplasty. http://www.metoidioplasty.net/ has a lot of good info- as well as resources, if your bf needs them!
Don't be TOO afraid to ask- you can't know what his boundaries are if you avoid the subject all together- then he might think you're just as wary of his junk as he is!
A good way to ask if he's had, or is considering any bottom surgery might be to show him the Rod, or the transthetic pieces- that way you can gently level the question if the Rod or the EZP might work better for him, without directly asking "So what's the situation with your junk."
If he hasn't had surgery, or mentions he's considering it, offer your support. Tell him you've got his back, no matter what he chooses, and that you'll help him with aftercare, should he decide to do so. My gf will be visiting to help take care of me after my top surgery, and knowing that I'll have my loving gf tend to me after such a huge milestone makes me feel like she's really in this for the long haul. (I'm actually going to propose to her next year :X) I'm pretty sure he'd appreciate the gesture as well!
As far as above the waist touching, it doesn't have to just be the sensation! I fully admit when my gf told me she will love running her fingers over my future scars and telling me how beautiful they'll be, it made me giddy. Also, you could always do some ear/neck biting ;D
Also, if he just doesn't want anything sexual, maybe try some body massages, while telling him how much you like his features. Sensuality plus praise is a good way to instil trust and good associations with your touch!
You're SO very welcome, and I hope things work out!