anonrisingcocomod (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
anonrisingcocomod) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
anonrising2018-01-19 07:16 pm
anonrisingcocomod) wrote in anonrising2018-01-19 07:16 pm
"Just, please don't post screenshots from other attendants, they don't deserve it."
Good gracious. Are you accusing your other attendants of similar behavior?
Good gracious. Are you accusing your other attendants of similar behavior?
The whole point was that your "private sheets" are publicly accessible, and people WILL browse them.
I realize this now. I was naive to think otherwise.
NAYRT
5000% agreed! Wind is not a flight I expected to see this from, my opinion of Wind as a whole is still good, and Windies going "noooooope" reinforces my good opinion a lot.
5000% agreed! Wind is not a flight I expected to see this from, my opinion of Wind as a whole is still good, and Windies going "noooooope" reinforces my good opinion a lot.
//pats windie
I'm not happy about how some people in your flight have handled this push, but I hope not many users are judging the entire flight because of them.
I'm not happy about how some people in your flight have handled this push, but I hope not many users are judging the entire flight because of them.
I'm extremely concerned that you're implying this is regular behavior from your attendants on your 'private' sheet. How is anyone who sent to wind meant to feel good about it, knowing they could have been experiencing similar treatment unknowingly?
Not Selah but following this thread I wonder if we're taking it a little far? I've seen other flights' sheets where they sometimes put in fun chatter, jokes, and just general notes to each other, logistics and stuff. At least this is what I first think of following this thread, instead of assuming people regularly bad mouth oofers in private. Or is it just me??
DA
I would not be surprised considering it was pretty much encouraged in the instructions for the private sheet. Too bad they didn’t learn from Lightning to laugh about these things and turn the big senders into memes. That was a great way to deal with the stress of attending. (And that was during a contested battle, wasn’t it? Arguably much more stressful than Wind’s push this week.)
I would not be surprised considering it was pretty much encouraged in the instructions for the private sheet. Too bad they didn’t learn from Lightning to laugh about these things and turn the big senders into memes. That was a great way to deal with the stress of attending. (And that was during a contested battle, wasn’t it? Arguably much more stressful than Wind’s push this week.)
I normally assume people just joke about but we've seen screens and the OP made it sound like it's suggested other. And the way of "no more screens" actually suggested more we haven't seen and it's unsettling? It's a known fact that every flight vents during pushes but it's usually in private chats and more like "I don't want to accept this" and more "Oh boy this is a lot! I'm worried I can't accept it all" but it rarely gets out. Once it does get out, no matter the flight, it's going to have major backlash because people get paranoid what's been said about them and if their efforts are not appreciated.
I think the fact Wind is getting this backlash too over it just proves that no flight is immune to being called out for mistakes.
I think the fact Wind is getting this backlash too over it just proves that no flight is immune to being called out for mistakes.
SA
*and less like "I don't want to accept this" and more like
*and less like "I don't want to accept this" and more like
SA
*and less like "I don't want to accept this" and more like
*and less like "I don't want to accept this" and more like
Oh ok, I do understand people tend to worry about things they can't see and I guess the paranoia is kinda legit. But I also think it wouldn't be very nice to post screenshots involving other attendants. The attendants were told the sheet will not be seen, whatever they were talking about it would probably feel like a good deal of unwanted attention to be posted up here. That was my instinct to the no more screenshot comment.
If there's actually something serious...well, I wouldn't know /shrug/.
If there's actually something serious...well, I wouldn't know /shrug/.
Like the anon above, I didn't assume it was more than one person until Selah disclaimed the OP here and started talking about how the other attendants didn't deserve to have screenshots of their commentary posted.
I’m not trying to pick on you or kick you while you’re down, but something about your responses keeps bothering me. You’re saying the screenshots (or posting them) was hypocritical, and that if you knew the sheet wasn’t private, you wouldn’t have said anything on it at all, and all of that is just giving me a vibe that you’re sorry you got caught.
The real problem here is the atmosphere you were fostering that was giving negativity a place to thrive.
The real problem here is the atmosphere you were fostering that was giving negativity a place to thrive.
Selah again. I didn't say the last bit because we have a toxic sheet or because we have mean attendants. I did it because making sure that nothing that could hurt anyone, be they a member of another flight or of my own, would become public was *my* job, and something I failed spectacularly at.
Which means stepping down as a dom lead.
I just don't want one of the attendants getting a negative reputation out of this if they made a negative comment and it's being posted here, where nobody can see any context or any of the jokes they've made or the hard work they've done over the push. In other words I don't want to see yet another person in wind being hurt over my mistakes
Which means stepping down as a dom lead.
I just don't want one of the attendants getting a negative reputation out of this if they made a negative comment and it's being posted here, where nobody can see any context or any of the jokes they've made or the hard work they've done over the push. In other words I don't want to see yet another person in wind being hurt over my mistakes
I wouldn't like it if more people were named publicly. But we've seen the thread runner do it and we have an unknown OP who also has done it (Not that I want them to be named but that means at least two people) and the tone of both has been saddening to a lot of people. The mere suggestion that there's more is going to make people more sad.
To put it in a real life context, it's like you helped your neighbours out during a community event, and you thought they were all thankful for your contribution. But when you got home, you find out they have a private group on Facebook where they complain about what you did. Even if it was only two people in the group complaining about your contribution , you'd be afraid everyone feels the same. Especially if one of those complaining was the host runner.
While we do know at least two people in Wind hasn't liked OOF support, having it suggested there's more breeds a feeling that Wind as a whole doesn't like the OOF support they've received.
While that's probably not the case at all, it's hard to get that thought out of people's mind.
So while I agree it's not Wind as a whole that's acting like this, I also understand people's fears and anger over the ordeal. It's hard when you feel like your help isn't wanted.
To put it in a real life context, it's like you helped your neighbours out during a community event, and you thought they were all thankful for your contribution. But when you got home, you find out they have a private group on Facebook where they complain about what you did. Even if it was only two people in the group complaining about your contribution , you'd be afraid everyone feels the same. Especially if one of those complaining was the host runner.
While we do know at least two people in Wind hasn't liked OOF support, having it suggested there's more breeds a feeling that Wind as a whole doesn't like the OOF support they've received.
While that's probably not the case at all, it's hard to get that thought out of people's mind.
So while I agree it's not Wind as a whole that's acting like this, I also understand people's fears and anger over the ordeal. It's hard when you feel like your help isn't wanted.
Oh, for heaven's sake. This seems like overreacting.
And there's obviously at least one other person, unless you were lying about not being the OP here.
Pull up your britches, apologize properly, and next time around try to pretend you appreciate OOF people sending you dragons. There you go.
And there's obviously at least one other person, unless you were lying about not being the OP here.
Pull up your britches, apologize properly, and next time around try to pretend you appreciate OOF people sending you dragons. There you go.
I don't think you need to step down you just need to be more careful in what you say and do.
If you're in doubt or replying as a dom member it's always good to get a second opinion from people because you might be taken the wrong way.
Part of being a dom leader is learning good PR, especially during drama times.
If you're in doubt or replying as a dom member it's always good to get a second opinion from people because you might be taken the wrong way.
Part of being a dom leader is learning good PR, especially during drama times.
Mostly I'm disappointed in myself for not keeping it more positive, and in doing things that hurt the flight, a lot more than the screenshots being public. I mean, I wrote that. I got frustrated over someone who was only supporting our dom and I wrote it down, and did it in a place where it wasn't private, and if I get fallout for it that's on me. Obviously I'm not like extra *happy* that those screenshots got posted, but at least all of this gives me a chance to take a step back, examine my head space, and make sure any interactions I have with FR from now on are positive, and if it takes being called out publicly to make sure I don't hurt anyone again I can live with that trade off.
It shouldn't mean stepping down! Yeah, you failed at that thing, but here's what you do: "I failed at a thing. I'm sorry I hurt people by failing at the thing. I know how important thinging is, and now I know how easy it is to make thingish mistakes. The dom team and I are going to be discussing this over the next few weeks after we take our post-conquest wrist break and eye break. Thanks for your criticism so far; please keep it coming."
Then you actually read all the critiques you get, and definitely actually discuss it with the rest of the dom team, and next time Wind does a dom thing you'll be able to say, FROM EXPERIENCE, "no no no don't do that NOOOOOO" if you have to.
Then you actually read all the critiques you get, and definitely actually discuss it with the rest of the dom team, and next time Wind does a dom thing you'll be able to say, FROM EXPERIENCE, "no no no don't do that NOOOOOO" if you have to.
As someone who accepted for Light for our Valightines push, I want to say I was totally happy to get level 1 dragons! I actually leveled them up to 4 myself to help offset the cost of manning the raffle and public buy (as I had 50 lair spaces to play with, so storing some until later wasn't a big deal), but if I had gotten flooded, I would have been just as happy to ship them off to the sunburn. Please don't let one person turn you off on doing this. Some of us greatly appreciate any dragons you send!
I do think it's partly an atmosphere problem, which a dom lead is responsible for checking. And you've acknowledged that so good there. If stepping down is a way to fix this then ok go for it.
Now straying away from the topic itself if only people were casual enough to stop preaching about what is overreaction and what would be the appropriately well measured reaction they are hoping they can lecture someone into. People really do hope for a lot of affirmation from someone over the internet. Pfft.
Now straying away from the topic itself if only people were casual enough to stop preaching about what is overreaction and what would be the appropriately well measured reaction they are hoping they can lecture someone into. People really do hope for a lot of affirmation from someone over the internet. Pfft.
Oops I'm not implying you HAVE to step down. I'm actually perf ok if you didn't, I think the lesson's been driven home already. But you have your own personal considerations, so I wouldn't say what's best for everyone.
DA
And don't feel bad for well, feeling bad about the situation. Drama for anyone involved hurts and it'll hurt for a bit. But moving forward and learning from this drama is better than just disappearing. This will all be forgotten is due time, right now it might seem like this is end all drama but this is tiny drama compared to how Flight rising drama goes. And remember, flights have recovered from much MUCH bigger drama this and moved on and actually helped improved the over all flights way of handling drama in the future.
Wind doesn't get much drama, so it's understandable that you're all not that good at dealing with it when it does come around. But you and Wind as a flight can learn from this and be more careful in the future.
And don't feel bad for well, feeling bad about the situation. Drama for anyone involved hurts and it'll hurt for a bit. But moving forward and learning from this drama is better than just disappearing. This will all be forgotten is due time, right now it might seem like this is end all drama but this is tiny drama compared to how Flight rising drama goes. And remember, flights have recovered from much MUCH bigger drama this and moved on and actually helped improved the over all flights way of handling drama in the future.
Wind doesn't get much drama, so it's understandable that you're all not that good at dealing with it when it does come around. But you and Wind as a flight can learn from this and be more careful in the future.
DA
I couldn’t have said it better. I’d actually be more disappointed than I am now if you step down, Selah. That doesn’t come mean you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. But what really builds up the reputation of a dom leader and of their flight is how they respond to criticism and call outs. If you step down, it’s not going to make Wind look better or worse, and it’s going to make it seem like you learned the wrong lesson here which based on your reply to me elsewhere (I am “sorry you got caught” anon), I don’t think you did anymore.
It’s okay to feel ashamed and remorseful, and it is ok to feel like it sucks to be called out. But you can grow from this too.
I couldn’t have said it better. I’d actually be more disappointed than I am now if you step down, Selah. That doesn’t come mean you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. But what really builds up the reputation of a dom leader and of their flight is how they respond to criticism and call outs. If you step down, it’s not going to make Wind look better or worse, and it’s going to make it seem like you learned the wrong lesson here which based on your reply to me elsewhere (I am “sorry you got caught” anon), I don’t think you did anymore.
It’s okay to feel ashamed and remorseful, and it is ok to feel like it sucks to be called out. But you can grow from this too.
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