anonrising | 58. How many glasses has Orca had?

Selah again. I didn't say the last bit because we have a toxic sheet or because we have mean attendants. I did it because making sure that nothing that could hurt anyone, be they a member of another flight or of my own, would become public was *my* job, and something I failed spectacularly at.

Which means stepping down as a dom lead.

I just don't want one of the attendants getting a negative reputation out of this if they made a negative comment and it's being posted here, where nobody can see any context or any of the jokes they've made or the hard work they've done over the push. In other words I don't want to see yet another person in wind being hurt over my mistakes

Oh, for heaven's sake. This seems like overreacting.

And there's obviously at least one other person, unless you were lying about not being the OP here.

Pull up your britches, apologize properly, and next time around try to pretend you appreciate OOF people sending you dragons. There you go.

What the fuck does apologizing properly even mean? You people will never be satisfied by anything. Get over it. This is such a minor mistake.

Seriously? Apologizing properly is saying "I messed up, I'm sorry, and I'll try to do better next time" -- or, if absolutely necessary, "I think what I did was necessary/right/acceptable/the best I could come up with at the time, but it had negative consequences and I regret those," although 1. obviously that's never going to satisfy the people who disagree about the initial premise and 2. I'm not sure it really applies here.

It's not saying "I'm only human" and "Wow, you're being really mean about this, why did you follow this link from the main sheet and look at where I was complaining about people" and then jumping straight to "I'm a failure and I'm devastated and I'm quitting." I've been enough of a jerk sometimes to self-flagellate in the attempt to deflect legitimate criticism -- and I'll admit, it's easy to do in the heat of the moment when you really do feel guilty, but it's still kind of manipulative and this looks a lot like it.

does anything else even need to be said?

I don't think you need to step down you just need to be more careful in what you say and do.
If you're in doubt or replying as a dom member it's always good to get a second opinion from people because you might be taken the wrong way.
Part of being a dom leader is learning good PR, especially during drama times.

It shouldn't mean stepping down! Yeah, you failed at that thing, but here's what you do: "I failed at a thing. I'm sorry I hurt people by failing at the thing. I know how important thinging is, and now I know how easy it is to make thingish mistakes. The dom team and I are going to be discussing this over the next few weeks after we take our post-conquest wrist break and eye break. Thanks for your criticism so far; please keep it coming."

Then you actually read all the critiques you get, and definitely actually discuss it with the rest of the dom team, and next time Wind does a dom thing you'll be able to say, FROM EXPERIENCE, "no no no don't do that NOOOOOO" if you have to.

DA

And don't feel bad for well, feeling bad about the situation. Drama for anyone involved hurts and it'll hurt for a bit. But moving forward and learning from this drama is better than just disappearing. This will all be forgotten is due time, right now it might seem like this is end all drama but this is tiny drama compared to how Flight rising drama goes. And remember, flights have recovered from much MUCH bigger drama this and moved on and actually helped improved the over all flights way of handling drama in the future.
Wind doesn't get much drama, so it's understandable that you're all not that good at dealing with it when it does come around. But you and Wind as a flight can learn from this and be more careful in the future.

DA

I couldn’t have said it better. I’d actually be more disappointed than I am now if you step down, Selah. That doesn’t come mean you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. But what really builds up the reputation of a dom leader and of their flight is how they respond to criticism and call outs. If you step down, it’s not going to make Wind look better or worse, and it’s going to make it seem like you learned the wrong lesson here which based on your reply to me elsewhere (I am “sorry you got caught” anon), I don’t think you did anymore.

It’s okay to feel ashamed and remorseful, and it is ok to feel like it sucks to be called out. But you can grow from this too.

I do think it's partly an atmosphere problem, which a dom lead is responsible for checking. And you've acknowledged that so good there. If stepping down is a way to fix this then ok go for it.

Now straying away from the topic itself if only people were casual enough to stop preaching about what is overreaction and what would be the appropriately well measured reaction they are hoping they can lecture someone into. People really do hope for a lot of affirmation from someone over the internet. Pfft.

Oops I'm not implying you HAVE to step down. I'm actually perf ok if you didn't, I think the lesson's been driven home already. But you have your own personal considerations, so I wouldn't say what's best for everyone.

Take some time to calm down and think about it before deciding on the big thing!

nah don't step down people are just overreacting

58. How many glasses has Orca had?

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